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a_recycled_idea
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Name: natasha
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States
Birthday: 11/2/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: 88 buicks, grandma shoes, cardigans, cigarettes, kissing, staying out late, photography, & originality.
Expertise: YOU KNOW HOW I DO.
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Industry: Textiles
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  peterless wentz
Yahoo:  his_exvalentine
Member Since:
9/12/2005
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| i have the best boyfriend in the whole world.
i just thought i would take some precious time out of my day to brag about it. :D
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| merry christmas, everyone.
:D
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| why do i turn into such a mess if i don't talk to him, just for a day?
i call it love.
but seriously i miss him.
and i can't get a hold of him.
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yesterday wasn't a very good day.
i'm not really sure why.
just my head was so loud.
and it wouldn't stop, and i didn't know how to make it stop.
everything that i felt was just so loud yesterday.
too loud.
i had a panic attack because i couldn't stop it.
it took me a couple hours to be able to breathe normally.
i just hate that i'm crying and crying, and my head is loud, and i don't know what to do about it.
i made my head quiet last night, i talked about a couple of things with cody,
and everything just got so quiet last night.
and it's still quiet today.
i just want it to stay like this,
i don't want my head to be loud again.
i don't want to not be able to breathe again.
i don't want to keep feeling anxious over nothing all the time.
i don't want to feel like staying in bed until i know the answers to everything.
i guess everything just has to get worse before it gets better. | | |
| i don't know what to do anymore.
i'm fucking sick sick sick of hurting people.
but it's not like there's many options - live here, live there, someone's going to be hurt and confused either way.
i love my family. both of my families, i should say.
i want to live with both of them, but it gets fucking hard, okay.
i admit it - there is something that i need help with.
i just don't know what to do.
i told my mom that i was going to live at my dad's, and she seemed mad.
and then my brother...
i just don't know which way to go.
fucking seriously, someone just throw an answer out there.
i think i'm going to go smoke the rest of my pot and then try and find my pin number so i can go buy more.
i seriously hate myself lately.
so much.
END me being a little whiny bitch.
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